Dying to be Men

I figured I would do a quick update, since I have zero interest doing the literal mountain of school work I need to do.

Final exams start the week after next and graduation (or “Commencement”) is 1 month from tomorrow. My final semester of college has flown by incredibly fast. Mixed feelings, though not the same as everyone else. Everyone else wants to stay in college forever. I, on the other hand, cannot wait to leave. I want a job, and unfortunately cannot find one. I guess that would be the only thing that is really mixed for me…I am moving back home as I have little choice to do otherwise. I was not planning on going to Grad School right after college, therefore, I did not take the GRE or apply to any schools. Now it seems that I am going to have to, because without a job the only thing you can do is educate yourself more. Though at the moment I do not see much of a point in post-high school education. Education is a good thing, do not get me wrong, but the past 4 years of hell that I just went through were basically for nothing since the job market (which I know is rough for everyone at the moment) refuses to hire me. The advice everyone gives has gotten beyond old, as it is always the same thing: “the job market is just rough now,” “you’ll find something, just keep applying,” “you’re bright, I don’t understand why you haven’t been hired,” “you must be applying to the wrong jobs/not applying to enough jobs/not tweaking your resume enough.” And it goes on and on. It is incredibly difficult to not feel like a failure when I know others who were able to land jobs, or have some kind of solid plan following commencement. I have none. Comme d’habitude, I “put all of my eggs in one basket,” as it were, thinking that if I applied to tons of jobs that I would surely get one, and all would be fine.

Anyway, let me try and be a little more constructive and descriptive in this entry, rather than just plain depressing. I know it cannot be fun to read. So, I will be moving back home, where I will resume my seasonal overnight job until the seasons ends towards the middle to end of June. I will continue to apply to jobs all over the state and in D.C. And now I will start researching schools in order to get my Masters in Library Science. I am graduating with a B.A. in Foreign Affairs, so I keep getting looks when I say library science – but I enjoy books a lot and have always said I would like to work with books. Besides, a good library science program is easier to get into than a good foreign affairs program, and following, it is easier to get a job with a MLS than it is to get one with a Masters in Foreign Affairs. My Dad was not terribly impressed with the idea, at least he was not very enthusiastic, but I told him I do not have the grades nor the credentials to get into a MBA program like he suggested. He and others have also mentioned how I will not make up in salary what I paid for to get the degree, but as I have told all of them, I do not have much of a choice. I am hard-working, have worked consistently since I started driving, and a quick learner. I am intelligent. But my GPA is not a 3.5 so few are interested. The two programs that have piqued my interest the most are: University of Maryland-College Park and Catholic University of America. CUA is in DC, and College Park is the MD side of DC. They represent the two closest programs to me, they were given reasonable rankings on their LS programs, and DC is where I have said I wanted to end up anyways. If anyone has a MLS and has stories, recommendations, etc. I would greatly appreciate your comments. Or if anyone from these schools want to comment in general.

I am not looking forward to the debt I will be going into, but again, little choice. Soon I will have to start concentrating on finding any job (ie: part-time, retail, crap) so I can stay employed and start saving money for living, applying to school and then going to school.

On the upside, at least I will have a nice amount of time to try and make a dent in my stack of 90+ books that I need to read!

But alright, I need to end here, my shift at the library start in a couple of minutes and I am sure they would appreciate me showing up on time.


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